The Purple Bicycle

 Do you ever wonder what happens when a child finds the one thing that they love more than anything? They use it again, and again and again. When Evey was 14, I found the cutest bike on Amazon marketplace for Evey. It was 25.00. We all got packed into my car, went to the ATM and carefully navigated the driveway to this unknown person's house.  If you know me, you know that the safety of my kids puts me in a position to never go to people's house that I don't know. In this day and age, it seems like the smart thing to do. Then again, with online market places and unbeatable deals through social media, it's also a bit behind the times.  I told the kids to stay close and not explore without me there. We got out of the car and walked to the side of the house that the could-be-serial-killer told us to go to. A lady was just leaving seemingly in good spirits from that same side. It seemed safe...ish. As we approach the side of the house, we see a sprawling backyard with so many items saved from likely the dump. Liam was apprehensive but Evey's eyes lit up. This was her paradise. This, my friends, was where she was meant to be in that moment. If you knew Evey, you would know that she LOVED to find previously loved items and gift them to someone else - not just anyone, but someone who she knew would absolutetly love that particular item.  I reigned her in so we could focus on this bike.  It was a shiney purple bike with a wide seat. Something you would see in a movie with the character peddaling around ocean streets with a whimsical straw hat on and flowers and french bread in her basket. It was perfect. This purple bike was meant to be Evey's bike. While I paid for it, Liam lucked out and got to pick out some treasure for himself - "on the house" said the limping old man whose entire life was clearly in this backyard with the mission to repurpose each loved item.  After a few minutes, Liam emerged with a very dusty toy car that he found on some shelf in one of the many open sheds filled to the rim with loved and cherished items. He had stars in his eyes that day. Evey was estatic - it was the first bike that she got to pick out. It had the perfect spot for a basket on the back of the bike, which she promptly hooked up with bungie ropes. 

This purple bicycle gave her the confidence to ride a bike without three wheels. The bigger seat made her feel secure so she no longer felt that she needed a seat back. We equipped it with the best wicker basket we had at the time. You may be wondering what did she put in it. Well, no, she did not put bread or flowers. She put two things. Her ever growing collection of squishies and Snow, her grey hen, that loved doing everything with her. Whether Snow liked it or not, Evey was going to get her used to her bike so that they could enjoy the neighborhood together. Snow quickly adapted and got comfy inside this basket as Evey rode her purple bike.  

Skipping ahead to 6 months later, I had to make the hard decision to uproot my kids and leave our home that we tried to share with my husband who we had only wed a year ago. The abuse was escalating, the drawings depicting her sadness increasing, and the trauma from the marriage had taken it's toll on us.  With the help of my close friend, we left while he was out of town (a story for another time), and I made sure to not just pack what would fit in my car, but Snow and her purple bicycle. 

Fast forward a few months as we settled into our new neighborhood - Evey became known as the girl with the purple bicycle. The girl with the purple bicycle walking her dog. The girl with the purple bicycle with her bearded dragon hitching a ride in her purse. This purple bicycle became her source of strength. She "walked" her 100 lb English Creme Golden Retriever Socks while she rode her bike. Socks was so intune to her that he never strayed far from her side. Neighbors knew Evey from that purple bicycle.  The purple bicycle that was so loved and used that one day Evey came home crying because as she was riding it, the front wheel decided to come off. Just rolled right off. If she wasn't so upsest, it would have been really funny.  She wasn't upset that she crashed because her tire literally came off,  but rather because she was afraid that her purple bicycle would have to be retired.  Thanks to some neighbors who were handy with bikes, we got that tire and bumper back on and her routine of riding her bike every day resumed. I made sure she had a nice basket on the front, a light on the front and reflector and light on the back. She was ready to rock it on the dark evenings on the way home from the park, or walking Socks. 

The purple bicycle became a source of stress relief for her. When Evey was feeling stressed, angy (or mad as she called it), upset or confused, she would ask to ride her bike. Riding her bike gave her an opportunity to think. Thinking was not easy for Evey. Thinking and processing the world took a lot of work for my girl. But not when she was on her purple bicycle. The world made sense on the purple bicycle. When life would feel to overwhelming, she would ask to go for a bike ride. She would do two loops around the neighborhood and then come back feeling calm. 

Evey didn't like walking because she had really severe pots. Her heart rate would soar just walking a little bit, but it was much easier when she was on her bike. That purple bike went to the park, to the neighbor's house, to the dog park, to the laundry mat, to the pool. It went wherever Evey's heart took her.  That purple bicycle saw more dips and grooves of our roads than most feet do. Evey knew every turn, every rocky part of the road, every dip and was able to skillfully navigate without falling, even though she had poor balance. The pride she had in herself when she was on that purple bicycle was so significant that words couldn't possibly do it justice.  This from a girl who never thought she would ride a bike. 

The joy that the purple bicycle brought one young girl extends beyond one heart and into the heart of the entire neighborhood. 

Now the purple bicycle sits. It has not been moved since the last time that Evey asked to go for a bike ride. The day before she died. The day before the worst day of my life happened for a second time. 
The purple bicycle was a symbol of strength, perseverance and courage for an amazing young teenager. A teenager that struggled with anxiety, depression, ARFID, Epilepsy, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder and Pots. It was a symbol of community as neighbors dropped off tokens of their love for my girl and her purple bicycle the day she died. 

Now, the purple bicycle sits.  It is stuck in a loop of love and hope, dust and perserverance. It sits there with the reminder of the memories made. The memories that only Evey could make as she brought this once used but now treasured rolling machine of courage come to life.  I don't know what will happen to her purple bicycle - but I do know that for now it sits where she put it. Evey made sure that it was in a specific spot in front of our home standing upright so that it was well loved and well taken care of. 

The purple bicycle - filled with love, hope, perserverance and bravery collects raindrops, pollen and the occasional bug.  It is a reminder that even the hardest things can be done and can bring smiles to more than one strong, brave young teenager.  The purple bicycle brought a community together - a community that rallied around one girl and her favorite purple bicycle.